Oxygen? We don't need oxygen where we're going because today, we're going to be talking about the magical world of face-sitting.
Face-sitting, many would argue, is an art form. Finding the perfect balance, the right position, and the correct oxygen ratio so you do not unalive your partner. So many beautiful challenges to a powerful and sexy pastime. While it is undoubtedly popular and probably one of the oldest forms of sexual worship, it can cause anxiety and discomfort for many, no matter how enthusiastic one's partner might be.
For many, negative thoughts can lead to discomfort regarding face sitting. Thoughts of being overweight, of overall genital cleanliness, or harming one's partner can inhibit this intimate experience. So let's talk about it.
It's important to understand that while your partner may be enthusiastic about you using their face like your own personal throne, you still have the right to talk about what activities will take place. While this may sound like an unpopular opinion, some people do not enjoy receiving oral sex, and that's okay! Face sitting does not have to be about oral sex or any sex act. For some, the request to have someone sit on their face is merely an act of submission, and the joy they experience from it is in the act itself. In other words, they only want to be your booty pillow. If you allow them, that is up to you. This exchange of power and submission can be more intoxicating than any orgasm, so keep that in mind when discussing this with your partner.
But let's say it is about oral sex. Maybe you and your partner really want to try it, but you aren't sure how to go about it the best way.
First, find a nice comfy, yet supportive spot. A soft mattress can cause issues, so firmer mattresses usually work better, but if you don't have that, a couch, sofa chair, or even an ottoman can work, depending on the size. Once your partner is lying down, place a knee on each side of their face and tilt your hips back. This allows your genitals to be closest to their mouth and your butt to be against the top of their chest. Using a chair or a couch can be helpful in these situations to give you something to hold on to, especially as orgasm happens. Before you assume your throne, it's also important to talk about non-verbal safe words with your partner. It's hard to shout "pineapple" when smothered by pillowy thighs. Having a conversation like, "Snap once to slow down, and snap twice to stop/breathe" can be helpful.
If mobility is an issue, or if you are like many of us and your knees are just not what they used to be, finding other positions besides crouching or kneeling is important. A great alternative is having your partner position themselves towards the end of the bed, their face on the corner of the mattress. This should give you space to straddle the edge of the bed, with a leg on each side of the corner, facing away from the mattress and your partner, and then sit down on their face like you would if you were sitting on the corner of the bed. Need some support? Move a small dining chair, computer chair, or some other small fixture you can place in front of you and hold on to, especially if you need to stand up quickly.
Once you have the space in mind, and the position that sounds the most comfortable to you, talk to your partner about any other concerns. If cleanliness is a concern, set a time for your activity so you can shower and clean how you would like. While we don't recommend strong perfumes or cleaners on the genitals, that's just a bad time, especially for vulva owners; spraying a gentle perfume on the back of your knees or lower thighs can help ease concerns as well, especially since those areas are hot zones and will help disperse scents.
No matter how you choose to sit, or if you are the seat that begs for a booty, face sitting can be an enjoyable and sexy activity.